A love story.

Recently I read a book about understanding your God-given self worth and I wanted to share this excerpt. 

It completely resinated with me and it might with you too. 

Imagine God sitting alone at a table in an elegant restaurant. Across from Him is an empty seat, reserved for you. As time draws on, He wonders why you haven't responded to the invitation. He takes a peek outside the door of the restaurant and hears a noise coming from the back parking lot. Recognizing the familiar sound of your voice, He follows the sound until it leads Him... to a dumpster.

Behind the rusted metal wall, He can hear you talking to yourself: "Ooh. Pizza crust. Sweet! There's some chocolate left on the inside of that candy wrapper!"

Despite the location, He's glad to have found you, and He calls you by name. You cautiously poke your head above the dumpster, and God looks at you with love, and a little sad smile. He's sad that you're in the dumpster, but He's smiling because you don't realize there's an entire banana peel in your hair. Hiding within the security of the massive container, you're hesitant to hear what He has to say. But you're curious.

"I have a feast waiting for you inside. There's Australian lobster tail, white wine, creme brulee... There's even a little card at your place with your name on it. But your seat was empty. So I came looking for you. Would you come inside with me?"

You're silent. But your mind is whirring with doubts. You squint your eyes at Him and reply, "I can't see any lobster. I don't even smell the food. How do I know you're not going to pull me out of here so that you can starve me to death?"

Before giving Him a chance to reply, you drop back into the dumpster and stare at the familiar rusted walls. Perhaps you've been in the dumpster so long that you hardly notice the stench. You reason to yourself, "It's not that bad in here. At least when I'm in the dumpster, I know what to expect. I'm on my own, and I can do it myself. I don't need anyone's help." But as hard as you try to convince yourself otherwise, you know you're still hungry. You wonder, "Maybe He's telling the truth. Maybe there is something better."

But as soon as you begin to hope, a voice inside shuts you down, "No. Even if He is telling the truth, I don't belong in that restaurant. Look at me. Everyone will stare. Everyone will cringe at the smell of me. They'll all know where I've been. I can't fool them. I should just stay here." 

Sitting on a mound of leftovers, you listen for the footsteps of God walking away, but He isn't moving. He's waiting. Minutes pass by, and you hear nothing. Your breathing slows down, and then you hear Him again. 

"Trust me and take my hand. I know you can't see what I want to give you. The only way I can give you what will satisfy you is if you trust in my completely. I love you as you are...but sweetheart, I can't roll your dumpster into the restaurant. If you want to come with me, you need to let go. I won't force you to do anything. I can only ask you to trust."

Notice, God does not shame you. He doesn't say, "Look at yourself. You should know better!" He does not motivate you with fear: "If you stay there, you're just going to end up getting burned at the city dump!" Instead, He loves you. He knows that if you His love, your life will never be the same. He can only wait and hope that you'll remember the promise made thousands of years earlier through His servant David in Psalm 84, "Better is one day in Your house, than thousands elsewhere."

Take His hand and do not be afraid to hope. Your future depends on it. 

I used to be in the girl in the dumpster. Desperately trying to fill a void with unhealthy relationships and attention-seeking decisions because, as an American teenager, that seemed like what I was expected to do.  I didn't realize that the void in my heart that caused so much sadness, longing, and dissatisfaction could only be filled by a relationship with Jesus. The One who loves me more and knows me better than anybody on this earth ever could. 

God never promises to make us wealthy and healthy. But He does promise us peace in knowing Him. Peace in our hearts, peace in our minds. Peace as a result of the hope and joy we have knowing that He has already planned out our future. And since He is the designer or our being and the author of our circumstance, wouldn't He know what's best for us? 

Sometimes fully trusting in the Lord requires letting go of something that we settled for. Whether that be a lifestyle, relationship, or anything that defines us. We figure, "Well, this is probably as good as it's going to get. What if I give it up and nothing better ever comes along? I'd rather just have this than something worse."

But God knows the depths of our hearts. He knows our dreams and our desires and all of the little quirks that make us individuals. And like a parent that unconditionally loves their child, He wants to give us those things. He wants to give us a future better than we could have ever imagined and certainly more satisfying than a lifetime full of settling. 

I obviously don't claim to know everything about the Bible, everything about the history of the world, or everything there is to know about everything. 

But I do know that a couple of years ago I decided to take a step of faith and fully put my trust in Jesus. 

And it's proven itself to be the best decision I ever made.

The book I read was entitled "How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul" 

and was given to me by a dear family friend and an amazing woman of God. 

It was a lot more about responding to our self-worth and a lot less about simply getting dates. 

If I had a daughter ages 7th grade and up, I would for sure read through it with her. And her group of friends. 

I probably would have died of embarrassment if my mom suggested that in seventh grade, but that's beside the point.